Do You Get Desperate Sometimes?

I do. It usually happens when I cannot control the situation; when I look around and realize that I am lost and there’s no way out, as it happened to me not long ago. My father was finally out of the hospital, like he wanted, after two long stays there, but in hospice at home, when my husband went to have a Cath. done because of a persistent chest pain. The procedure could not be performed due to a severe clog and he had to have an “open heart” immediately. I did not know what to do with my dad’s situation since no one could take care of him. He could not walk or do anything for himself. I went crazy knowing he wanted to stay home and I did not want to tell him what was going on.  That day he had a blood suppuration and I had to send him back to the hospital.  “Poor thing” he didn’t complain and accepted the situation, so I could be in the other hospital. The day of my husband’s procedure scheduled for 3 PM did not make me too happy for the lateness and the possible exhaustion of the medical team, so when I learned they had to postpone it I thanked God. Early, the next day, the procedure was a success and I thanked God again.  I had been running around hospitals and looking for people to be with my Dad (which was no problem with my church brethren and some family) when the day after as I went to get my hospital pass, I realized I had lost the small purse I carried my ID's, debit and credit cards which I knew I had taken for I had added a blank check to give someone. “When it rains it pours” I could not but think on all the risk I was exposed to and I got desperate. Then I cried as I  searched the car. I went crazy throwing away anything that I found which wasn’t important at that moment. I knew it was the end for me, my husband wasn’t in the condition to find out that kind of news and I had to smile as if nothing, then I prayed and a verse came to my mind: Be strong and courageous do not be afraid or tremble, for the Lord your God is the one who goes with you. He will not fail you nor forsake you. (Deuteronomy 31.6) All of a sudden a great peace invaded me. I found the receipt of the gas station where I had stopped prior to arriving at the hospital, gave the name to my daughter and she called in. A kind employee went to look for it by the pump and found it on the floor. No one had taken it because the Lord was guarding it.

I have had many experiences of the sort, and even when I get desperate, because I am a human being, I pray, and when I feel that peace that surpasses all comprehension, I know that everything is fine because the One who’s got to be alert is always in control. I had many Christian congregations from different denominations and lots of people praying for us. Psalms 127.1 says: Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it; unless the Lord guards the city, the watchman keeps awake in vain.  So whoever intends to do something without His favor, in the “long run” will fail.

My dad went home (to his real one) on the 4^th of July and my husband recuperates rapidly. I’m not mourning because my father is enjoying life with his Heavenly Father along with all his loved ones who preceded him in Jesus Christ. And the ones who stayed here do not have to worry if we trust in the Lord. Though youth grow weary and tired, and vigorous young men stumble badly, yet those who wait for the Lord will gain new strength; they will mount up with wings like eagles, they will run and not get tired, They will walk and not become weary. (Isaiah 40. 30-31)