Do you feel unworthy? Sometimes I do . . . when I try to do
something and I can not . . . when circumstances make me feel not capable . . .
when people make sure others know I am not. . . And on the other hand, if I can
not do something people expect I can easily do, I feel even worse.
Last week I felt like that. I felt like I was good for
nothing. Then all the blues started to hit me and the imaginary serpent
attacked me: “God took your productive life and turned it into a chaos.” . . .
“He gave you a writing gift that has not given you a penny, but only debts.” .
. . “You’ve been looking for years and no one gives you an opportunity because
you’re not worthy.” . . . “Do not keep on trying, you’re too old now.”
For a little consolation I start searching in my wisdom rich
counseling book, the Bible, and I come across of: Do you not know? Have you not
heard? The everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth does
not become weary or tired. His understanding is inscrutable. He gives strength
to the weary, and to him who lacks might He increases power. Though youths grow
weary and tired, and vigorous young men stumble badly, yet those who wait on
the Lord will gain new strength; They will mount up with wings like eagles,
they will run and not get tired, they will walk and not become weary. (Isaiah
40: 28-31). Do not fear for I am with
you; do not anxiously look about you for I am your God. I will strengthen you.
(Isaiah 41:10)
Then I start shooting back: I can do all things through Him
who strengthens me. (Phil. 4:13). . . The Lord is my light and my salvation;
whom shall I fear? The Lord is the defense of my life; whom shall I dread?
(Psalm 27:1). . . God causes all things to work together for good to those who
love God. (Romans 8:28a). . . But in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer
through Him who loved us. (Romans 8:37)
All of a sudden I start feeling good and worthy, knowing
that God loves me whatever the circumstances. He is with me and He has chosen
me to work for His purpose and knowing that
any bad feeling is a scheme of the devil, I do as the Scripture says for I know
in whom I have trusted: Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the
strength of his might. Put on the full
armor of God, so you will be able to stand FIRM against the Schemes of
the devil. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the
world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in
the heavenly places. Therefore, take up the
full armor of God so that you will be able to resist in the evil day,
and having done everything (girded
with truth, breastplate of righteousness,
the preparation of the gospel of peace, the shield of faith, helmet of
salvation, and the sword of the Spirit which is The Word of God) to stand firm. (Ephesians
6:10-17)
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